Going through a divorce means that several areas of your life will change, particularly when you have children. While childless couples can have a complete split and part ways forever, divorcing parents don’t usually have that luxury.
Unfortunately, this means that you’re going to have to deal with some things that you might not have expected. Typically, people who have children might fall for these common myths, but you shouldn’t:
Myth #1: You’ll be completely free to be yourself.
You’re still going to be under your ex’s microscope because of the children. Even if your ex nitpicked what you did when you were married, chances are good that it will get worse during and after the divorce.
Myth #2: You can wish bad things for your ex.
Your ex’s life is going to have a direct impact on your child’s life. Instead of wishing bad things would happen to your ex, focus on creating your own happiness. This can help your children to see that resilience and persistence are positive attributes.
Myth #3: You can forget that your ex exists.
Even when your children are adults, you’re going to have to deal with your ex at major events. Things like college graduations, weddings and the birth of shared grandchildren might be shared experiences.
If possible, work with your ex to create a respectful parenting relationship during the divorce. While this might be a challenge, it can help the situation in the long run. Just remember to get the parenting plan established right away because conflicts can still arise even if you get along with your ex.