Issues Married Couples Often Disagree On

On behalf of The Berger Firm June 11, 2020

When a couple decides to get divorced, it may be because they disagree on some fundamental issue, and they both refuse to change their position. It could also be because they find themselves disagreeing on multiple issues, and they realize they’re just not a good fit. They don’t want to spend their whole lives trying to change each other’s minds, so they’d rather find a new partner who already agrees.

What do couples disagree on? This could be a nearly endless list with specific examples, of course, but here are some of the more general categories for big issues that may end a marriage:

  • How they use money: One spouse saves while the other spends.

  • Whether or not they should have children

  • Who is going to take care of the children when they do have them

  • How they should communicate or what they should do when communication is lacking

  • How they should use their time

  • Who gets to make decisions

  • What their priorities are: One spouse wants to send the children to a private school, while the other prefers public schools, for instance.

  • Politics or religion: Each spouse belongs to a different religion or a different political party and wants the other to change.

Some of these issues can be addressed. For instance, a spouse who wants to spend too often could agree to save more. But, as is often the case, couples can’t find common ground or they feel like the other person is too controlling. They may not want to change or give up that control in their own life. That can lead to divorce, and they both need to understand their options.